~Previous Updates~

Nearly another year has passed since we lost our dear daughter Molly in September 2001 to HLHS; here is another update on what has happened and the feelings that have been felt over the past year.

Times have been hard, as you would expect, we attended another memorial service at Guys hospital, which is always a lovely day, very emotional but still a lovely day.

November 2002.

Mark and myself went on holiday with Marks family, his mum, step dad and both brothers and their families to Blackpool, we all stayed together in a huge thatched cottage for a week it was just the break we needed. While we were there we met up with a couple that we had been e-mailing who had also sadly lost their son to HLHS although it was sad to meet them under such circumstances it was nice to meet someone who had been through a similar time to us.

December 2002.

December came round and my period was a couple of days late, after the initial panic we decided to go to the supermarket and buy a home pregnancy testing kit, we went out to the car and guess what……………..the car wouldn’t start we tried and tried but no, the car was going nowhere.  Next day the car was fixed and off we went to Tesco’s to buy our test, when we got home I rushed into the bathroom to do the test.

Finally it had happened 

We were pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From that moment on we have felt all sorts of mixed emotions.  So happy that we were finally expecting a brother or sister for Molly but so guilty that we were so happy and that Molly wasn’t here to share it. We had to have the pregnancy confirmed by our doctor, it took ages to get the results back, finally it was confirmed we are expecting!  On our next visit to the cemetery we told Molly she was going to have a little brother or sister soon, I’m sure she would be happy.

Our first scan was at our local hospital to check our dates match, they do and baby is due 21^st August 2003.

2nd scan at 12 weeks was at Guys hospital, this scan was extremely hard, it’s the hospital where Molly’s condition was diagnosed and the hospital in which Molly was born and sadly died.

We were told that at this stage of the pregnancy the babies’ heart was the size of a grain of rice. The scan took nearly 45 minutes, which felt like forever, finally it was over and Mr Simpson (the doctor that diagnosed Molly) was happy that at that stage the heart had formed and was functioning normally, so at this stage baby has a healthy heart.  Once again we were filled with absolute joy at having a healthy heart baby but terribly guilty for Molly.

In April we had our 20-week scan at our local hospital, where we were told all seemed ok, then a week later we were due at Guys hospital for another detailed heart scan.  After what felt like forever we were told everything is fine, such a relief, we have now been discharged from Guys until the next pregnancy.

Mid June we had yet another scan (scan number 5) to check the growth of the baby and to see what sex the baby was.  Once again all ok and we were told baby was a boy! We are going to have a son!

We can’t help thinking how perfect our little family could have been, if Molly was still alive, a boy and a girl; we still miss Molly so much.  Being pregnant has been tough; when we are out shopping nearly every shop we go in we are asked ‘is this your first?’  The worst thing is people saying ‘you just wait for all those sleepless nights and dirty nappies’

Well we can’t wait!

Mark and I continue to help and support each other; I am so glad our love for one another is strong enough to handle all of this.  Well there is only 3 weeks left until baby is due and we have finally decided on a name, which will be Kian, Kian Lloyd.

We will update again as soon as the little man makes his arrival.

For anyone reading this that have also lost a child to CHD, we are proof that you can go on to have a Healthy heart child, its only now that we are convinced.

Many thanks as always to family and friends near and far that continue to support us.

 Claire & Mark